I Want to Scream

This last week frankly, sucked. My prescription was placed almost a week ago through the specialty pharmacy at MD Anderson. But my insurance denied that pharmacy to fill the script and it has to go through Express Scripts which is a mail-out pharmacy. I won’t get into the entire story, but as of today, Monday, they have yet to process the prescription. There were issues from the address to actually indicating the request was cancelled by the patient. I informed the last supervisor, with whom I lodged a complaint, that I certainly did not cancel anything.

It is a cluster is all I can say and I am furious with the whole process. I always have issues with E-Scripts filling my initial scripts. I had to explain that I am only at this location for a few more days and then we move on so I need the meds ASAP. Furthermore, I felt I had to throw down the cancer card in hopes I could get something escalated.

To top it off, I have been feeling “off” this last week dealing with multi-day headaches, bloating, pain in the diaphragm, and back pain in the kidney area. I went to the ER on Saturday for the back pain, but all my tests were clear . All the ER doctor could come up with was noting that my CT this last week showed nodule growth; therefore, maybe the pain is disease related. If that doesn’t play with ones mind. I have never had disease related pain before, but inside of one week my disease has progressed so much that now I am experiencing said pain?

I really am trying NOT to go there mentally. I am frustrated as I don’t know why I am hurting where I am and pain meds are not helping much. Although the doc prescribed some Vicodin which I have taken before bedtime to help comfort me in order to sleep. Needless-to-say, I think the narcotic makes me nauseous (dry heaved the last two days). Al left to study and shortly after, I broke down and cried. I cried because I am mad. Because I am frustrated. Because I am scared. I question if the pain I’m experiencing is in my head because the cancer is starting to take over. Mind you, I have no evidence of this. Time to drop to my knees before my Heavenly Father.