Can’t Sleep

As I lie awake in my bed tonight, I remember my last post complaining about the delay in my new medication. That someone at Express Scripts was dropping the ball. I guess I was feeling a little sorry for myself as I knew, in that short amount of time, that I was getting worse. But I forgot. I forgot to count my blessings. Yes, I might have been progressing in my disease, but what is a week when I have been blessed with more than five and a half years post-diagnosis?

Or the fact that I have options for treatment. I am “lucky” that I have the most common type of breast cancer as that affords me more treatment opportunities. Ah, and then there is insurance that will cover the entire cost (minus my $29 deductible) of what is apparently a $27k medication. I did receive the medication and have completed my first week, by-the-way.

But my mind is with a 31-year-old young man that is lying in a hospital bed tonight alone. Probably tossing and turning, but not for the same reasons as I. He learned two days ago that he has a rare, aggressive sarcoma. He went from 0 to 60 in 3.0 seconds. I’ve had over five years to deal with my mortality. He has had, maybe, a week. We understand his options are very limited. We are trying to wrap our heads around what is happening. After conversations with his siblings, I am comforted in knowing he is grounded in his faith. He is trusting God completely that He has a plan for him. Regardless of the outcome, he understands that his Father is carrying him through this season. This kid is a badass and I don’t think he will go down without a fight! I love you.