It is one of those topics that most people try to avoid talking about, especially here in the U.S. I find the topic in other cultures to be more accepting as it is part of the life cycle. And still in others it is celebrated. I am referring to death, of course. As a person who has stage IV cancer, it is difficult for me to ignore the subject. When I approach the subject, the persons to whom I am speaking want to shut the subject down quickly. I understand that it is difficult to imagine a loved one passing, but it is a part of life. None of us are getting off this earth alive; we just leave at different times and in different ways.
In college, I took a course called Death and Dying. It was taught by a social worker by the name of Dennis Van Hook. Dennis approached the subject with us matter-of-factorly….if that is a word! He took a hands-on approach to examine different phases of mortality by taking us on field trips. We learned about the psychological aspects of dying as one starts to face his or her mortality. People reflect back on their lives. We question our choices. We contemplate if we have made an impact. Are we leaving a legacy? Was I a good person?
So why do people avoid the subject? Are people in denial? Are we afraid of death itself and the unknown? Is it to protect themselves from hurting? It is my belief, that being able to discuss this taboo subject openly, is psychologically healthy. It allows for everyone to process the reality of the situation and possibly, the inevitable outcome. This is exactly what my former professor is doing.
Dennis has received a terminal diagnosis and has been given one year to live. He is taking advantage of that year by tackling the subject head-on through open discussions. Every Tuesday, in Great Falls, Montana, he invites the public to sit down and talk about death and dying. There are similar discussion groups popping up around the country. I applaud the idea and those participating. I encourage you to read about his story and to seek out such a group in your area.
Yes, it is a scary thing to talk about or even think of. But I will try to understand with God’s help.