I am a member of several Facebook cancer pages. A topic that is commonly shared is that which I would describe as self-pity. “Why me?” “This is so unfair.” I get that the ‘C’ word invokes fear as it immediately produces thoughts of death. I won’t lie and say I have never felt saddened at the thought of my passing at a fairly young age from this disease. It hurts my heart that I may not grow old with my husband, watch my grandchildren grow-up, care for my parents as they age, continue to ‘parent’ my boys, and just experience more of life. But I can honestly say I have never asked “why me?”
My outlook maybe viewed as unusual to many, but I see it this way. First, why not me? I am no better than anyone else out there. Second, I learned long ago that life isn’t fair, nor do I expect it to be. Third, we all will eventually meet our maker. No one is getting off this earth alive. Some sooner than others and it happens in various ways. Cancer is just one of those ways. Fourth, someone always has it worse than I. Fifth, I am secure in my faith and trust my God that he has a plan and is in control.
With that said, I recently finished the first book by author Joni Eareckson, written in 1976. It is the story of a young lady that became a quadriplegic at age 17. Instantly, her life was changed. Life as she knew it was over. She describes the depression she struggled with for years as she tried to adapt to her new limited life, the dependency she had on others, mourned the loss of her old life, and came to terms that she would never have the use of her limbs again nor would she ever find love. Thankfully, she had devout Christian friends, family and her own faith to sustain her during this season.
She was continually redirected back to God’s Word with every struggle, with every question. It is through her faith and trust in God that she was delivered from her anger, bitterness, loneliness and self-pity. I recommend the book if you struggle with the “why me” question, you feel sorry for yourself that God has forsaken you (FYI, he hasn’t), or you feel you have no purpose in life. As you read the text, I encourage you to stop, grab your Bible and study the passages referenced in the book. Ms. Eareckson is inspiring and shares life lessons from which we all can learn.
Hi Brandee. I was wondering how you were. As always I thank you for your inspiration. As a man of faith I pray for all our well-being. I have found some comfort recently with Psalm 91. In Judaism our bedtime prayers include “God is with me, I shall not fear.” Just what you are sharing.
One of the season ticket members in the upper concourse was an ER nurse until she fell over a hose in her back yard and just like that became a paraplegic. Her attitude is sensational and has taught me a lot on acceptance.
Through these times I have been staying in as much as I can and with my lung disease I am so aware, like your saying, how many others have difficult times. Your an amazing woman. I am glad to call you my friend. Take good care Brandee.
Mark
Thank you for sharing this with me Mark. I will read Psalm 91 too. I think it is incredible when people who are facing dire circumstances are able to have such a positive outlook on life. All too many of us whine and become distraught of such minor things in our lives. I pray more people read this post and take something from it. God bless my friend.
I totally say, “why not me?”, just the way you do. Though you have a much deeper sense of conviction and better way with words!
We were never promised a life free of trials and troubles. It is the way we handle them that says a lot about our character. It isn’t always easy to take this stance and it can be exhausting sometimes. But I think feeling sorry for myself is much for exhausting in the long run. Keep up the fight girl!
I’m glad you enjoyed this book. I found it very inspiring so I past it on. Love You Sweetie.